Alone in the Light
by voila23xx
Summary: Three months after the events of Crait, Rey and Kylo struggle to deal with the lingering effects of their bond. Rey must learn how to become the protection the resistance needs and Kylo must decide if power is what he truly wants. (Title change! Sorry for any confusion, previously, Then You Exploded in my Heart) (Current rating subject to change, slowest of burns)
1. Expectation

Summary: Three months after the events of Crait, Rey and Kylo struggle to deal with the lingering effects of their bond. (Title comes from Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits, Spoilers for The Last Jedi)

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Chapter 1

The vision was enough to bring her to her knees, doubled over with tears springing to her eyes. In her minds eye she could see with perfect clarity, his pleading eyes expressing loss and want so visibly. And then she calmly placed her hand on the control panel, closing the door between them and severing their connection. As Rey knelt on the cold metal floor of her cabin she wondered why this memory had become so painful. At the time she had felt pride in displaying this powerful self control. And now she only felt like a traitor. Kylo had trusted her enough to fight by her side and she had betrayed him.

When she voiced these concerns to Finn he had said she had done the right thing. And he was right, partially. There was a very small window of time when Kylo Ren had deserved the redemption which she had wanted to assist him in. But that window had closed when he arrived on Crait with the full ballistic support of the first order behind him. He meant to kill them all.

Rey repeated that to herself when she felt this guilt. She reminded herself that he wasn't her friend no matter how tenderly he had looked into her eyes on Aach-to.

Aach-to was another memory entirely, and it was something she tried her hardest to forget. It was difficult due to the fact that when she tried to recall what little instruction Luke had given her, his face swam to the surface of her memory. She couldn't afford to think of the way he so nonchalantly noted the ways of the force. When he had questioned their connection had been the first time she had seen him not full of rage and instead saw him as an inquisitive boy.

Ahch-to was where their connection had begun and she had since learned that their bond was indeed a powerful manifestation of the force. At times since their last connection she felt his presence near her when she thought of him. However she learned that through meditation and focus she could block him from appearing and avoid the confrontation that would ensue. If she kept the wall in her mind erect there wouldn't have to be a confrontation at all. It wasn't that she didn't want to see him, but she couldn't imagine that the interaction would end well for either party.

She shook her head and berated herself internally. She didn't want to see him, she reminded herself. Kylo Ren was her enemy.

Thankfully before her stinging eyes had transformed into Falling tears she was distracted from her thoughts by the intercom on the wall.

"Rey, you're needed in training room A" spoke the disembodied voice from the wall. She recognized it as Poe, the pilot with whom she had become friendly.  
She sprang to her feet and pressed the button gingerly. "Yes sir" she said quietly, trying not to betray her state of emotion. Though when she had met Poe his rank had been that of pilot, after General Organa's passing he had taken the position of admiral and she wasn't sure how to address her friend accordingly yet, she settled on 'sir'.

As Rey shuffled around her cabin to find her shoes she reflected on the events leading up to this moment. After she had closed the physical and metaphorical door on Ben... she shook her head and reminded herself he was Kylo Ren still.

The remaining facets of the resistance had taken off in the falcon and sent out distress calls under Leia's order to her remaining allies in the far reaches of the galaxy. They had cruised at light speed for weeks until the first response came. It had been from a colony on a small but habitable moon, the colony were mostly refugees of the clone wars, who had banded together to seek refuge from the turmoil of the galaxy. They had been reluctant to offer them harbor at first, but upon hearing of their dwindling numbers offered them sanctuary in their seldom used craft hangar.

During the following weeks the forty-odd members of the resistance set up shop and regained their strength. Every one but the General seemed to recover their losses and begin preparing for the next steps in the fight against the new First Order. General Organa on the other hand slipped into a state of ill-health and took to her chambers, delegating order to Poe.

Rey had felt when she passed, the force which swirled around her seemed to shudder and grind to a halt momentarily. She had run to the General's cabin, and had Bb-8 fry the controls to allow her access to the room. Poe told her after they laid her to rest that she had confided to him the physical loss of her brother and spiritual loss of her son aided to her quick decline in health and that she was confident she would see them both again after passing.

Rey pulled on her shoes and wiped at her eyes to be sure none of her tears had fallen before hurrying out into the hall. As she neared training room A she attempted to rid herself of the ghostly thoughts that plagued her; however general Organa's memory would never leave her, and she suspected the thought that Ben Solo would return to the Light would would continue to haunt her as well, Despite how she wished it wouldn't.

"Took you long enough" Poe barked as Rey let the door to the training room swing shut behind her. Before she could retort, the door opened again and Finn rushed through it.

"At least I beat Finn here" she chuckled as she walked over to the locker on the wall and plucked her training staff from the shelf. Every time she held the staff she was reminded of her futile efforts to fix the broken saber she kept beneath the bed in her cabin.

"Hey, I was on patrol when I got the call, I had farther to come" Finn muttered, grabbing his own sparring weapon. He lightly hip checked Rey with a smile before they both turned to face Poe, who wore his training clothes and from the slick sheen of his skin it was apparent he had been training alone before summoning them.

"Any luck on that light saber yet Rey?" He asked, flicking at her staff with disdain. "It'd be awfully helpful for our Jedi to have her weapon back. " She shook her head in defeat.

"No, there are just some things I need that I haven't found here." She hung her head, "sorry Poe, I know it's disappointing to have a supposed Jedi on your side with no weapon" while everyone kept calling her that she certainly didn't feel like one, weaponless and un-trained as she was.

She looked up when Poe placed his hand on her arm, it was warm and strong and the way he looked at her filled her with a small bit of confidence. "You're not a disappointment Rey"

"Yeah, it's not like you need a light saber when you can hurl giant rocks at People" Finn laughed, as he nudged her and walked into the sparring mat. "We gonna do this or not?" He said, taking a fighting stance, and Rey mirrored him, shaking off Poes lingering hand on her arm

The fighting style which Finn exhibited against her was swift and regimented, betraying his First order training, but it was no match for Rey's force-heightened awareness.

Every time Finn swung his weapon Rey blocked and countered with precision her opponent was unable to match. Each of her blows were enough to kill if she had been holding more than a replica staff made of plastics.

"That's it Rey!" Poe hollered from his vantage point on the bench against the training room wall. "Watch your feet, keep them in line with his!" He pointed out. She corrected her stance accordingly. The momentary distraction was enough to give Finn a window to lunge in and knock her off her feet.

Finn whooped triumphantly and extended his hand towards her. "That's one for me" he laughed. Momentarily Rey was reminded of Kylo's outstretched hand in the throne room of the Finalizer.

Realizing she was distracted and she didn't have her usual mental barrier up against the connection she and the Supreme Leader shared she tried to center her focus and shake the image of him out of her mind. But it was too late. She felt his presence, the throbbing life force filled with stirring emotions was closer to her than it had been in months. Her head snapped up and behind Finn she saw _him._

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 **Authors Note** : I hope you guys like this first chapter! I have a couple more written and will be updating very shortly! I haven't written anything in a long time so go easy on me! Much love, A.


	2. Distraction

Chapter 2

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Kylo looked just as surprised as she felt, his eyes were wide as they fell upon her and in a split second she noticed they were rimmed in deep purple bruises. Despite the panic that rose in Rey like bile she jumped to her feet, not wanting to betray herself to her friends.

Fully aware of Kylo Ren's focused eyes on her she refused to look at him, despite how she yearned to assess his emotions. She looked over her shoulder instead and addressed Poe.

"Thanks for the distraction _admiral_ " she spat sarcastically. He shrugged apologetically and motioned for Her to return to her practice.

Rey could literally feel the burn of Kylo's gaze on her as she tried her hardest to focus on Finn, who held his weapon aloft ready for her impending attack. Channeling the rage she felt at the sight of the man dressed in black at the edge of the room she ran towards Finn, letting out a yell.

With determined focus she made quick work of the next few sparring rounds. Consistently knocking her opponent to the ground

"Alright Rey, I yield!" Finn shouted from his position beneath her staff. She could tell he was exhausted by the way his hands trembled on his weapon and his breath came ragged.

Before she could step back she felt Poe's warm hand on her back, Good job, I think that's enough for the day" he said, leaning close to her ear. Instinctively Rey's eyes snapped to where Kylo stood. And she saw in his eyes and felt through the force his conflicting feelings of Pride and anger.

Not wanting to have to be appraised by him any longer, she threw up the mental shields she had grown to rely on, harder than ever before and the brooding figure disappeared, leaving behind only a pounding ache in the back of Rey's head.

"See you don't even need a light saber to get the job done" Finn said as she helped him to his feet.

"Unfortunately I don't think my staff is of much use against A proper saber" she muttered shaking her head with a small smile. "I'm gonna have to get those parts to finish mine and hopefully sooner rather than later."

Poe looked over and shrugged, "I guess well have to get a plan together for a scavenging mission"

"I wouldn't even know where to start looking." Rey said as she wiped the sweat from her forehead. Although she had scavenged parts of nearly every kind she had never come across the specialized parts needed for her saber in all her years on Jakku.

"We'll figure something out, I promise" the Admiral said, again ducking in close to her to speak. The smile he gave her soothed her worries momentarily and she nodded,

"Thanks Poe" she muttered before returning her training weapon to the shelf and heading towards the door, "Good job today fin! I'll see you guys for evening meal in a bit"

As she left the training room she pressed her hands firmly to either side of her head, willing the ache to leave her.

How could she have gotten so distracted as to let the doors of her mind fall open for him? Why was even the smallest gesture enough to remind her of him? Why couldn't she get the impressed and slightly scared look on his face as he watched her fight out of her mind?

When Rey reached the confines of her cabin she threw herself on her cot and muffled a frustrated scream with her pillow. She wished she could ask Luke or even Leia what to do. She had never felt so conflicted and confused.

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 **Authors Note** : Let me know if you're liking this, I have two more chapters ready to go! I know the first two have been a little short but I'm working on making the next couple longer!


	3. Machination

Chapter 3

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When the pounding in Rey's head finally subsided she threw the pillow she had covered her face with back onto the cot and began peeling off her sweaty training clothes. She had had enough time to clear her mind and push the thoughts of Ben to the fringes of her conscious, and decided to focus her energies for the remainder of the evening on getting to work on her saber.

She knew the basic mechanics of the technology of course, but putting them together properly was the real challenge. That and, finding a Kyber crystal which wasn't broken in half. Rey thought of Poe's encouraging words earlier and smiled. If she was going to find the parts she needed she knew she would at least have help.

After a quick shower Rey changed into a fresh outfit of resistance provided grey leggings, her usual arm bands and a dark tunic. Clipping her belt around her waist she glanced at her reflection in the small mirror above the sink and thought for a moment how different she looked from just a year ago. Her hair was longer of course and her skin was no longer tanned and dotted with freckles, certainly due to the constantly cloudy atmosphere of the moon they inhabited. Rey lifted her hand and touched the circles under her eyes, those were new. Vainly she wished they would go away but she also felt that the stressors of her new life would just continue to darken them over time. With a resigned sigh she dropped her hand and turned away from the mirror. The thought of the dark circles beneath Ben's eyes only flashed in her mind briefly before she mentally reinforced the wall between their connection, and headed towards the door.

When Rey appeared in the entrance to the mess hall she scanned the small gathering of resistance fighters for the faces of her friends. Finn, Rose and Poe were seated at a smaller table towards the back and Rey grabbed a portion on her way towards them.

She took the seat across from Finn and Rose and beside Poe. "We were just talking about you" the admiral chucked with his mouth full. Rey cast him a weary look.

"Nothing salacious I promise, just about where we're going to start looking for your light saber parts" he finished, smiling. Rey huffed, she didn't know where to start,

"I've barely ever even heard of Kyber crystals before, unless we can find some old archives I don't know where we would start" she muttered shaking her head.

"Luckily I do!" Rose chimed in, leaning across the table. Rey remembered she had grown up on a mining planet. "The mine owners and workers always said that striking a Kyber deposit meant they would never have to work another day in their life" she continued to explain.

"But there was no Kyber in the Otomok System." Finn interjected.

"No, they mined the ore from our system but there was talk about the kyber caves on Illum."

"The empire destroyed Illum and the Jedi temples that contained the crystals." Poe said, looking confused, Rey wondered how they knew all this and she felt woefully uneducated for a moment.

"So unless we can find an old temple or another place filled with one of the most valuable recourses in the galaxy..." Rey wondered aloud. Rose nodded.

"Exactly, now I know Illum was an ice planet, maybe if we can find a planet that has a similar make up and atmosphere we can find some crystals?" She said shrugging. Poe held up a finger,

"Don't you think it would be easier to track down one of the remaining Jedi Temples?"

Rey chuckled, somewhat amused by her friends' eagerness to help and the impossibility of both options. "I don't think any of this is going to be easy, but there has to be records somewhere of the Jedi Temples, meanwhile finding an uncharted mystery planet seems a little daunting.

The group agreed and decided to begin planning.

They spoke of their plans and course of action until everyone else had left the dining area. Rey could tell it was getting late when even the usually energetic Finn began yawning.

"I'll speak to Leia about it in the morning" Poe said as he leaned back against the wall. "Why don't you all get some rest and we'll continue this discussion tomorrow"

Finn nodded sleepily and took rose's hand, pulling her towards the bunks. Momentarily rey wondered if they shared a bed but was distracted by Poe clearing his throat.

"We need our Jedi in tip top shape, best get some rest too." He sighed. "Mind if I walk you to your quarters?"

Rey shrugged and stood up slowly and the pilot mirrored her movement. As they left the dining hall he silently slipped his arm around her shoulders causally.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked curiously.

Taken off guard it took a moment for Rey to respond. The warmth of his arm proving to be quite distracting.

"N-nothing, just thinking about how all these plans are going to play out, I'm j-just not sure about any of it. She stammered, feeling slightly ashamed.

"We'll figure it out. Promise" he said with a smirk as he nodded flirtatiously and she felt a wave of seductive thoughts roll off of him though the force.

Rey fell silent at that and nodded upon the realization of the pilots intentions. Of course he hadn't exactly been conspicuous about his attraction for the last few weeks but never before had she seen the thoughts he had so clearly.

"Thanks Poe" she muttered as they approached her door. He nodded in reciprocation and his slightly lopsided smirk remained. Rey supposed it was quite an attractive smirk but another face swam to the forefront of her mind. Quickly she pushed the images of Ben back and re enforced her walls against the bond.

"Well, I'll talk to you in the morning, I hope you sleep well" he sighed, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

She responded with a tentative smile, noting the way his hand lingered. "Good night Poe" she whispered before ducking into her room. As the door slid shut behind her she registered one last longing glance from her friend and sank against the wall.

The look in his eyes was so familiar, pure want seeped from his eyes. And as she tried to fight it the wanting face of another bled through the cracks of her mental barricades.

With a familiar pull and snap within her brain she looked upwards and saw him, gone was the wanting expression, replaced by confusion and surprise.

With unspoken words she felt his thoughts ricochet against her mind. He was as bewildered as she and wondering why after months of no contact she had appeared to him twice in twenty four hours.

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 **Author's Note** : So I know you all came here for the Reylo, but I also have a little thing for Rey/Poe, so bear with me, we're getting to the Reylo! Hope you're enjoying this so far, let me know!


	4. Confrontation

Chapter 4

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Kylo looked upon the unexpected scene with curiosity, when their bond had flared to life he had dropped his data pad and he stood transfixed amongst the broken glass on the floor. This certainly was unusual.

He hadn't seen the scavenger for months, sixty seven days to be exact, and here she was in front of him for the second time today. Her hair was longer and it fell around her shoulders softly, there was also something about her face which was different. He couldnt put his finger on it but suspected it had to do with her eyes. He glanced over the rest of her slowly, letting his gaze drag over her form, assessing that no harm had come to her since they last met. As Kylo observed her seated on the ground and looking up at him confusedly he wondered what was different on this day. Of course the last sixty seven days he had thought of her near constantly. Every time he had followed the thread in his mind which linked her to him he came up against a strong wall, barricading him from her mind.

First Kylo had panicked, thinking something had happened to her, he would have doubled down on his search for the resistance and obliterated them entirely if they had let her get hurt. Then though deep meditation he realized he could still feel her and had been convinced she had learned how to sever their connection... until earlier that morning. He spoke his musings aloud,

"I still can't see your surroundings, just you" He muttered still observing the girl on the floor. "After months I would have expected something to be different."

She furrowed her brow, obviously intent on ignoring him.

"I thought you figured out how to end this connection" He continued, taking a small step towards her, glass crunching beneath his boots. "I… I thought this was over" He felt his voice waver without his permission and cleared his throat.

She continued to glare at him, defiant as ever and he was reminded of the first time they had been connected through the force. "What happened? Why now" he wondered aloud.

While he couldn't make out her exact thoughts, the feeling that she did not want to see him exuded from her, but there was something else he sensed in her through the force. She was conflicted.

"I-I feel it too," he murmured deeply in response to her conflicted feelings and her jaw went slightly slack. "This," he gestured between them at the invisible thread that tied them. The girl's face softened ever so slightly and he dared to brave another step towards her, his hands flexing to fists at his sides. She flinched as if she thought he meant to grab her, so Kylo folded his hands behind his back, pushing one thought at her over the bond.

 _I'm not going to hurt you._ After everything he had done on Crait he wasn't surprised she was afraid of him now and her fear wrenched at something deep within him. The girl's shoulders dropped slightly and she seemed to relax at the thought that he meant her no harm.

The tips of Kylo's boots came to a halt only inches away from the scavengers and she had to look up at him now, hazel sparkling through dark lashes. He saw her form begin to shimmer slightly. _Not yet!_ His mind screamed as he tried to keep a neutral ficad. Despite his internal prayer he watched as she disappeared. Her large eyes looking up into his was the last thing he saw before the bond pulled taut again and took her away.

Kylo stomped his foot dramatically into the glass on the floor and fung his fist into the wall directly above where her head had been, leaving an impression in the material. He calm was gone now that she was and suddenly he found himself slightly out of breath. As he slumped against the wall her name slipped from his lips.

"Rey."

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 **Author's Note** : So I hope you guys are okay with the perspective switch, I think this story will stay mostly Rey's perspective but occasionally we'll jump over to Kylo! Let me know your thoughts so far! Much love, A.


	5. Connection

Chapter 5

Kylo allowed the maintenance droids to clean up his broken data pad and found a new one waiting for him when he returned to his quarters. Instead of returning to his reading he reclined on the sofa in the sitting area, and dragged his hands over his face with a groan.

He thought that his new duties of Supreme Leader would have him too distracted to think about the girl, but it had turned out not to be so. He was surprised to find that the minuta of his new role was actually quite tedious and in between paperwork and board meetings she crossed his mind and every day the pull of her light had seemed marginally stronger, yet when he tried to follow that pull he always came up empty handed. Of course he was angry with her for refusing him, her betrayal stung like a sharp blade twisting in his gut, but the more he thought of her the more the anger subsided. It was in the past, he needed to forget it and figure out another path, and he could do so if she would only drop her defenses.

How had she blocked herself from him so completely? He wondered. For all his attempts had failed and left him with an incapacitating headache, he thought she must have found another way to severe their bond because to endure that kind of mental strain would be too taxing for any extended period. Perhaps that was what had happened today, kylo pondered.

Had she held up her defenses for so long, she was simply exhausted? What would happen if he attempted to pull her to him now? Would he be able to break through to her?

Sitting up and centering himself, Kylo closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. It was easy to find the spot in his mind occupied by her visage, and he grasped it firmly. Concentrating harder than usual he imagined her face, soft with ambient lighting like it had been in that elevator aboard _The Supremacy._ The way her hair had framed her face as she wore it loose.

When Kylo reached that barrier that had been erected in his path he simply sunk into deeper reverie and summoned the force, compelling it to connect him to the girl he sought. He imagined her light filling him up, until he was enveloped by it entirely. When his eyes finally snapped open he knew that she would be there.

Slowly she turned her head and took in the sight of him, the look on her face was frustration tinged with exasperation. Her eyes were rimmed in red and with a hitch in his throat, Kylo realized she had been crying. He knew his hunch was right, she was truly exhausted from keeping him out of her mind. That thought made him feel pity for her but also pride in knowing that she thought of him frequently like he thought of her.

"Go away," She said quickly, wincing and holding her hands up to her temples, he knew the pain she was experiencing from attempting to keep him at bay and he longed to ease her pain.

"Why are you closing yourself off to the force?" He asked, striding towards her. "I can tell it's hurting you"

"I'm closing myself off to _you_!" She spat, backing up against the wall to maintain the distance between them. Kylo stopped in his tracks and there was a long moment in which neither of them spoke, and just looked at each other. He could feel fear, defiance and something else radiating off her, she had her thoughts guarded heavily but how he yearned to pry into her mind and see what she was really thinking. He was surprised when she spoke first.

"I thought you could _take whatever you want"_ she snapped, "At least your self control seems to have improved."

Kylo was taken aback, he had said that, a long time ago. "A lot has changed since then" He sighed and then went quiet.

Rey looked at him wearily, her eyes narrowing into slits. "Not that much has changed since you're still out there terrorizing the galaxy" She muttered through gritted teeth.

"What choice do I have?" He snaps back, "I'm the _Supreme Leader,_ I can't just drop all my responsibilities" This was not the conversation he imagined having and he didn't like the direction it was going in. "And besides, it's not terrorizing. I'm attempting to bring order to our very _disorderly_ Galaxy"

At this Rey actually scoffed and threw her hands over head in exasperation and Kylo flinched almost imperceptibly at her bark of laughter. It was a deep laugh filled with malice. "Order?" She practically screamed, "It's terrorism! Less than forty eight hours ago you destroyed an entire outpost town on Batuu!"

Kylo felt his eyes widen as he took a step back from her. "How do you know about that?" He said slowly and quietly, "There were no official reports made about that."

Rey smirked. "You underestimate the Resistance."

He stalked towards her until he loomed over her, practically nose to nose. What did she think this was? Did she think one measly spy within his ranks would intimidate him. Did she think he was afraid? He thought for a moment maybe he was, but it had nothing to do with espionage. Rey must have picked up on his thoughts, because she quirked an impetulant eyebrow at him, her unasked question seeped through Kylo's mind.

" _Afraid of what?_ " She thought loudly enough that Kylo could have sworn he heard it ring in his ears. They stared at each other for a very long time after that, neither wanting to be the first to speak. He couldn't open his mouth for fear he would let slip that if he was afraid of anything it was the bond they shared and the resulting emotions it stirred within him. He sensed that she was resolute, and awaiting an answer.

"Not the Resistance." He finally barked and when the bond snapped closed he thanked the force, he couldn't endure one more second under her scrutinizing gaze. His head pulsed and he felt wholly unbalanced. He hadn't realized realized while she was still with him, the constant unbalanced sensation he felt seemed to ebb away, like he had been standing on two feet for the first time in months.

Shaking his head and flopping onto his bed with a sigh Kylo raised his hand to cover his eyes. Why couldn't she see? They had the same hopes for the galaxy. Maybe their methods were quite different, but if she joined him he would give her anything, let her do anything.

Author Note: Sorry I took so long to update! Works been super busy. Anyways, If you've kept up so far, thank you! I really appreciate the feedback and follows! I'll be on vacation this week and try to get some writing done!


	6. Location

Chapter 6

Three days had passed since Rey's last meeting with Kylo and although her head was pounding she was determined not to let him though again. At least not yet.

Over the course of the last few days she, Poe, Finn and Rose had begun devising a plan to find the kyber she needed for her saber. Poe had inherited R2D2 and C3PO after Leia's passing and luckily for Rey, the protocol droid knew where Leia had kept the digital copies of her father's correspondences, which seemed like a promising place to start the search for any information which might be helpful.

With all four of them looking through the files it only took a day and half to find what they were looking for. A holo message from a Jedi named Ben Kenobi. The name struck a chord in Rey and she knew this man was Ben Solo's name sake. She was too distracted to linger on the thought of Ben for too long and nearly jumped out of her seat with excitement by the end of the message.

In this particular message, Kenobi had contacted Bail Organa to inform him of the location of Leia's brother and relay that he was safe as well. From the message Rey could tell this must have been shortly after Leia and Luke were taken into hiding and given new identities.

Before the conclusion of the message the Jedi made a brief mention of a temple.

"The temple on Concordia…" he whispered, looking around nervously. "I've heard rumor that it's still intact, I'll be traveling to the Mandalore system once I know Luke is safe and settled. And I'll fortify the temple, the empire can't destroy every remnant of us"

Rey didn't wait to hear what else he had to say, she jumped up and grabbed Poe's arm, replaying the message for him and the others.

Once the group had researched the Mandalorian moon, Concordia and plotted the safest route they decided to waste no more time and begin their journey the next morning.

Rey sat on the end of her cot and packed the rucksack she had carried with her all the way from Jakku. She was sure she could still find sand in it if she turned it upside down. She smiled to herself slightly at the thought of how far from the oppressive sands of Jakku she had come.

In her satchel she packed the few things in the world which belonged to her. The pieces of her broken saber, a change of clothes, her goggles, the homing beacon Leia had given her and the Jedi texts, which took up more room than they were worth but Rey knew she might need them.

As she finished packing she lay her head back against the wall beside her cot and closed her eyes. A nervous sort of excitement ran through her at the thought of leaving the small resistance base for the first time in months. She tried to relax herself by taking a few meditative breaths but when she tapped into the force ever so slightly she immediately felt the thread of her and Ben's bond pull tighter. She clenched her jaw tight and forced the bond back behind her mental barrier, letting out a sharp cry as a searing pain blossomed in her head.

"Rey!?"

She looked up through the fingers covering her face, Poe was standing in the doorway looking concerned.

"I'm fine," she whimpered, a lingering pain causing her voice to waver. The pilot quickly crossed the room and dropped to his knees infront of her.

"You don't sound fine, what is it?" He asked, placing his hands on her knees, his eyes kind and imploring as he looked up at her.

"I've...I've just been having headaches a lot lately" she stammered. Not wanting to admit to her friend that she shared a force bond with their sworn enemy. Poe obviously didn't buy it and shook his head.

"Rey we need you in fighting condition for this mission tomorrow, if there's something wrong maybe we should hold off a couple days or so-"

"No!" Rey interjected quickly, slamming her hands down ontop of Poe's. "We have to go tomorrow. I have to build my saber so I can protect the resistance" she insisted, sitting up a little straighter. Poe chuckled and shook his head slightly.

"You're one of the best fighters I know, you barely need a saber to protect us Rey" he sighed, turning his hands over beneath hers and entwining their fingers. The gentleness of his hands in hers took Rey aback momentarily.

"He has a saber, I can't face him and protect you all without one." She muttered, looking away from Poe to the wall and pulling her hands away.

Poe nodded and stood slowly. "If you're sure you're up to it, we'll leave tomorrow then."

"I'm sure" she reassured him.

He flashed her a brilliant smile and she could feel the excitement of an impending adventure rolling off of him in waves, as well as trepidation. Rey could tell he didn't buy her headache excuse but she shrugged it off and returned his smile.

"Join us for a night cap in the mess hall?" He asked, nudging her gently. She smiled again and jumped out of her bed.

"As long as Finn stays away from the Boga Noga this time" she muttered, laughing at the memory of her friend on the night of Leia's funeral when they had all indulged a little too much on the very alcoholic Hutt Ale.

"I think we can keep him away from it" Poe laughed and started towards the door, he looked back at Rey and offered her his hand. "Coming?" He asked softly.

Rey remained seated, and nodded.

"I'll be there in a minute, just have to finish packing up" Poe smiled and dropped his hand.

"See you soon then" he sighed with a smile and slipped out of her bunk into the hall.

When he was gone she fell back on the cot and tried to center herself. She focused on her breath and tried to let the force flow around her but not through her. She knew if she let the current of the force run through her Ben would come along with it.

Finally Rey felt centered enough and rose out of bed. She glanced in the mirror before joining her friends and rubbed at her temples which only ached lightly after her meditation. She was looking forward to the distraction of her friends' company and the mission to Concordia but in the back of her mind she felt deeply worried about being able to keep the bond closed.

Once Rey reached the mess hall she nodded and smiled at a few of the newer familiar faces in the resistance. It was getting closer to lights out for the evening so only a few pilots and mechanics lingered at the tables surrounding where her friend's sat. Joining her friends every evening before bed had become a sort of ritual for Rey, and it was a ritual she greatly enjoyed.

As she approached the table she noticed that Rose, Poe and Finn were huddled closely over their beverages and murmuring quietly to each other. When she got closer she caught the eye of Finn and he sat up quickly, prompting the others to do the same. Rey got the distinct feeling that they had been discussing her.

"Hi…" She sighed, sitting down between Finn and Poe, who both looked equally guilty as they greeted her. It was Rose who broke the awkward silence.

"Ready for tomorrow?" She asked cheerfully.

"Yeah, Chewie and I got the Falcon prepped for take off first thing in the morning." She replied, glancing over at Poe. "You still sure we shouldn't take Chewie with us?" She asked the pilot turned admiral.

"He's top in command around here, I think it's best if he stays behind to keep things running around here smoothly." Poe responded, lifting the bottle of Savareen brandy and offering it to Rey. She refused the drink, worrying it might impede her ability to keep the bond closed, and she was already pretty tired.

"You're right" She conceded, all though she didn't like the idea of being without the Wookie's protection and pleasant company.

The group went on like this for a while, until the mess hall was otherwise empty and every one was yawning. Rey stayed quiet for the most part, still feeling uncomfortable about the fact that her friends had been talking about her in secret. The unpleasant prickle of anxiety nawed at the back of her mind, keeping her unable to really contribute to the conversation. Rey knew they could tell something was bothering her and they seemed to treat her like she was fragile in the way the spoke to her.

The group decided they would leave the next morning at sunrise, which was only a mere 6 standard hours away, so they adjourned their meeting and said their good nights. Rey was less surprised this time when Poe offered her his arm to walk her back to her bunk.

"I'm actually going to go check on the Falcon one more time." She said, leaning away from the contact.

"I thought you said you and Chewie had it all ready to go." He asked dubiously.

"We do, I just… wanna make sure." She sighed. Poe eyed her cautiously and nodded,

"Alright then, Just get to bed soon. Remember what I said about needing you in fighting shape…" He paused before continuing in a hushed tone. "You'd let us know if something was wrong… right Rey?"

She immediately felt guilt twist in her gut, knowing she might have to tell her friends about the connection with Kylo Ren eventually, but she didn't have the nerve to do it quite yet. Rey didn't like keeping this secret but she knew it was necessary for the moment, it was too soon, the events of crait were still to fresh in everyone's mind. She reached out and gave Poe's arm a squeeze which brought a smile to his face. She couldn't bring herself to lie directly to him so she nodded before slipping past him into the hallway.

Now that she was alone the anxiety and guilt bubbled up and she broke into a run, determined not to let any tears fall before she reached the hangar and made it safely inside the Falcon.

She scrambled up the loading dock and slammed the lever down closing it behind her. Before she heard the click of the ramp closing she sunk into the captain's chair and curled into herself. Rey loved her friends, she loved the resistance and she loved her new life, but even with all this new found camaraderie she felt alone like she had been her whole life.

As she wiped at her tears and tried to catch her breath she thought of Ben and the single tear which had rolled down his face as he held his hand out to her in Snoke's throne room. He had asked her to join him and for a split second, the loneliness she felt her whole life had abated. She felt at home. She felt wanted.

Then his offer changed, only seconds later. _We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy_ , the words ring loudly in her head, the words which had dashed her newfound hope in half. Rey scoffed to herself, hope, hope was what the resistance was built on. Hope was the only thing she had left to cling to and try as she might, her hope for Ben Solo was unrelenting.

She wanted to feel it again, the belonging she felt when he was near and without giving herself time to think herself out of it, Rey dropped her mental barriers. She allowed the bond to flow between them and even reached out into the force, feeling for his force signature. Within seconds she found it, warm, dark and powerful.

The string that linked their minds pulled tight for a moment and then it was like the weight full grown Fathier was lifted off her shoulders. Rey's headache evaporated and the force hummed pleasantly inside her as if it were rewarding her. She turned around and took in his figure, his large frame filling up so much space in the small cockpit of the Falcon. He was standing only inches from her. His voice cracked as he spoke,

"Rey…"

Author's Note: I know this took forever to update, but it's a longer chapter than usual to make up for my absence! This is getting a little plot heavier than I usually write so I hope it's enjoyable. We're getting to the Reylo! I promise. (I just can't pass up a love triangle)


	7. Admonition

Chapter 7

"Rey." He repeated and stalked forward until he was standing over her. Her eyes looked up into his as a tear fell down her cheek.

"What happened?" He asked, wanting to reach out and wipe her tears away. As she shook her head slightly he noticed her lips were trembling. "What is it?" He asked again, dropping onto his knees before her. He knew he shouldn't show her this much concern considering how their last meeting had ended but he needed to know she was okay.

"I...I just, I didn't know what else to do" she finally muttered, not looking at him. He worried something went wrong, that she was in danger. He leaned forward and looked up at her, trying to catch her gaze.

"Where are you? Are you safe?" He asked urgently when their eyes locked, and through her tears she huffed a humorless laugh.

"I'm safe." She sighed and Kylo let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding with relief. But that didn't explain her tears. He could feel the shape of her thoughts and he felt that she needed him but he couldn't tell why; and that she was embarrassed about reaching out to him through the force. Kylo bit his lip nervously. He wanted to soothe her but didn't know how, how could he if she wouldn't tell him what was wrong.

"I'm sorry" she said after a long moment of silence, shocking Kylo entirely.

"What for? You didn't do anything…" he trailed off, not sure what she was apologizing for. She shrugged and continued,

"I'm sure you're pretty busy as Supreme Leader nowadays, dealing with this…" she waved her hand between them limply "probably isn't high on your list of priorities." It was Kylo's turn to chuckle, his mouth not quite forming a proper smile, he let his thoughts flow across the bond to her. He conveyed to her the tedium of his new position and how she was a welcome and wanted distraction. He watched as her eyes widened in surprise and she sat up a little straighter. He sensed her apprehension dissipate and she wiped at her face before speaking.

"I'm just… I was feeling unbalanced, and" she stuttered a little with the truth on her lips, which he watched intently, noting the way her tongue darted out briefly. "I was feeling lonely" she admitted and Kylo felt her loneliness in their bond as she opened her thoughts to him.

He was knocked off his own balance momentarily and he looked at her with intense interest as he felt her distrust in her friends and otherness from her relationships across the bond. Kylo relished in her openness and couldn't help smiling as her thoughts melded with his own.

It dawned on him that this had been the longest they'd been together without fighting since being reconnected and he smiled up at Rey. She picked up on his thought and smiled back. It was the first time she had smiled at him like that and he thought he might remember that look on her face forever.

"You're different from them…" he said suddenly, emboldened by her smile. "You're different from everyone…" and he watched as her mouth fell. Smile gone, she looked back at the ground and he felt panic rising in himself.

"I don't want to be different, I want… I want them to trust me" she muttered, her brow furrowed. Kylo knew that feeling, he understood what it was like to be different and want to fit in. Suddenly he couldn't fight it any more and reached out for her hand, just placing his on top of hers gently. She immediately looked up and their eyes locked.

"I know…" was all he could manage to say.

"I need to tell them about this" she whispered, turning her hand over in his. "I don't think they'll trust me until I do"

"Do what you have to" he whispered back, shocked at how she grasped his hand, he looked at her fingers laced with his and squeezed tight. He might not have been able to follow his own advice but he wished he had confided in the people who cared about him before it was too late and he wanted to spare Rey the hurt it caused him in the long run.

She ran her thumb over his and he watched as her other hand came up to cover their entwined fingers. Kylo felt himself quivering and then before he had the chance to look into her eyes again she was gone and his world was turned off its axis and he felt as unbalanced as ever.

* * *

Kylo slumped against his bed frame and smashed his palms into his eyes, trying to fight the wave of anger he felt rising in him like bile. Couldn't the force just let them decide when the bond worked and didn't? Did it have to be so unpredictable?

He stood up quickly and slammed his hand onto the com button on the wall with a little more force than necessary. The panic he had felt about Rey's safety still fresh in his mind.

"Have General Hux report to the war room immediately" He barked into the microphone.

Before he could hear the response he pushed himself off the wall and whirled out the door, pulling his cowl over his shoulders as he went.

Hux wasn't there when he Kylo arrived at the large conference room and he smiled to himself, looking forward to berating the man about his time management. He settled himself in at the head of the long obsidian table, flanked by the large window through which the expanse of the midrim could be viewed.

Finally the General strode through the doors followed by two guards.

"Guards?" He almost laughed, "Maybe if you would show up when I command in a timely fashion you wouldn't need guards" He barked, reaching out and flexing his hand towards Hux.

The small man lurched forward, the toes of his highly polished boots scuffing across the floor.

"My Lord…" he stuttered, a defiant look on his smug face. Kylo held his hand up, dropping the general and motioning for silence in one movement.

"Report on the current status of our intel on the Resistance." he demanded. He needed to know if they were any closer to finding Rey. He needed to know she was safe.

"Sir, the current location of the resistance is still unknown but we are receiving intelligence from several of our scouts that they may be stationed around Corulag."

Kylo found himself almost laughing for the second time since Hux had entered the the room. He knew with certainty that his own mother wouldn't be so dimwitted as to station her precious resistance in the core worlds. While he was simultaneously pleased Rey was no closer to being caught in the crosshairs of the first order, his blood boiled at how incompetent Hux and his men were. Surely the resistance were recruiting across the galaxy if Rey had know about the destruction of the outpost on Batuu. The information of their location should not have been so difficult to ascertain.

Kylo slammed his hands on the table as he stood,

"That's enough, report again when you have more worthwhile information." he seethed, glaring across the room at Hux before striding past him to the door, leaving the general dumbstruck behind him.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey guys, Thanks for the feedback so far! I know this is slow burning, so thank you for sticking with me. Let me know what you think!


	8. Expedition

Chapter 8

* * *

Rey awoke with a start the following morning and she blinked rapidly, trying to adjust her eyes to the bright lights. As soon as she was acclimated she saw Finn standing by the door to her room with an excited grin on his face.

"Ready to get going?" he asked with a dopey shrug.

"Good morning to you too" Rey muttered, swinging her legs over the side of her cot and rubbing her eyes. Finn chuckled,

"Sorry, I'm just excited to get off this base and besides I thought you'd rather be woken by me than by Poe. He's been up for two hours already, you know how he gets when he's anxious"

Rey nodded, Poe was down right manic when he was feeling anxious and she _certainly_ didn't need that first thing in the morning.

"Well, tell poe I'll meet you guys at the falcon, I need to get dressed."

Finn smiled as he slipped out of the room and Rey begrudgingly pulled off her sleep clothes, thinking to herself that just ten more moments of sleep would be a blessing after her confusing and emotional evening with Ben.

"Kylo." She corrected herself out loud and immediately regretted it when she saw him materialize over her shoulder in the mirror.

"Yes?" He asked, looking up at her through a few strands of hair which had fallen over his eyes.

"I… I didn't mean to call you." She snapped, wishing she had thought more thoroughly of what to say to him after their previous encounter. She caught a hint of amusement over the bond and her eyes shifted back to Kylo quickly. Suddenly she remembered her night clothes had been discarded and her hands flung up to cover herself.

"I don't have time for this!" She huffed exasperatedly.

"You're heading out on a mission?" Kylo asked, eyes never leaving her face as a slight blush crept up his neck.

"I...I uh, uh" Rey spluttered as she tried to pull her clothes on. "That's none of your business… how did you know?" She asked as she realized she hadn't mentioned her excursion the previous night. Kylo pointed to his head casually then to her.

"The bond? Oh and I can see your packed bag over there"

Rey's mouth fell open.

"I thought you couldn't see my surroundings" she stated, aghast.

"I can't, just you… and that bag" He murmured, standing up from the chair he was seated in. Suddenly it dawned on Rey she could see his chair. As she finished fastening her belt she took a step towards Kylo.

"Do you think the bond is getting stronger? Will we be able to see each other's surroundings soon?" She asked quietly. The chair he had appeared with seemed to be simply made from metal with a faint etched design and Rey wondered how this was even possible, not for the first time.

"It's possible" Kylo sighed, having obviously picked up on her thoughts. "I haven't been able to find anything in the archives about a… situation… similar to ours" He explained, bending down and grasping the strap of Rey's bag.

She reached out and took it from him, her wide eyes traveling from his large hand to his face. "

"Be careful." He muttered before winking out as if someone had switched off the holo projector.

* * *

Once the group had loaded into the Millenium Falcon, Rey settled into the captain's seat and tried not to think about how weird it felt to be flying without Chewie. Poe Flopped into the co-pilot's seat beside her and flashed a bright smile.

"Rose and Fin Just loaded the last of the supplies, we're good to go" He said, leaning towards Rey. She thought she could actually see the excitement rolling off of him in waves. Rey returned his playful smirk and nudged his arm,

"Prepare for take off then." She chuckled and pulled a few leveres before gripping the throttle. Rey felt a little prickle of nervous fear as she usually did when setting off somewhere new, she thought it must come from having been stuck in the same place all her life.

Liftoff and the shift to hyperspace had been easy and routine which Rey was glad for, with the ship on auto pilot and a course set for a trading outpost near Concordia, Rey and Poe Joined Finn and Rose in the main hold. She thought briefly that this was the time to tell them about her connection with Ben, but quickly realized she needed to plan that out a little more and choose her words wisely.

Now that Rey had stopped actively trying to block Ben out she felt lighter, and more at ease around her friends. She silently thanked the force as she joined them and they quickly started up a comfortable banter about their plan.

"We're going to have to touch down outside of the out post and walk in or steal a speeder." Poe instructed, "Finn, Why dont you go with Rey to get the parts and we'll guard the falcon?" Finn nodded eagerly,

"I've been to this outpost before, the boss around here has the protection of the First Order so there's always a couple stormtroopers around on look out." He explained as he absentmindedly played with the hologram table controls.

Rey ran her hands through her hair, which she wore down for once, knowing that it might help her go unrecognized upon landing. "You think we'll be able to get the parts we need without being noticed by the stormtroopers?" She asked.

"I think so, and hey if anyone spots us, you can just use one of those crazy mind tricks" He laughed holding his hand up to his head. Rey nodded in agreement and smiled fondly at her friends. While she still felt apprehensive about telling them the truth about her force bond, she knew they deserved not to be lied to. She decided she would tell them when the got to concordia, if they wanted to leave her there for being a traitor, they could.

* * *

After several hours of chat and idling around the ship Rey found herself back in the captain's chair, looking out as space streaked by them. She felt a hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump slightly.

"Ah, sorry, didn't mean to sneak up on you." Poe chucked, coming to stand very close behind Rey's seat. His hand slipped down from her shoulder and rested lightly on her collarbone.

"It's fine." She sighed, turning to look at her friend.

"I was wondering how we're going to actually find the temple with the crystals once we get to concordia." He mused.

"I don't know for sure, but I think I'll be able to feel it." Rey muttered with a shrug, she could feel Poe's confusion and smiled softly. He really was one of the least force sensitive people she knew and it gave her a little satisfaction having this knowledge over him. She decided to try and explain.

"When I was looking for you all on Crait, I knew we had found the spot where you were trapped because I could feel it in the force." Poe nodded in understanding.

"What does it feel like?" he asked, brushing his thumb over be base of Rey's neck. "When Leia used to tell me _may the force be with you,_ I appreciated the sentiment but I don't think I've ever actually _felt_ the force." Rey was surprised at Poe's admission, she had never known him to admit he did not know something. She smiled and recalled Lukes first lesson.

"It's the ballance," She explained, placing her own hand over Poe's "Power and weakness, life and death… light and dark." She could tell Poe didn't understand and so she continued. "When you make a decision mid flight, you're weighing your options, choosing one side or the other… The force doesn't choose sides it keeps the universe in balance."

Poe opened his mouth as if to ask another question but closed it quickly as he began to understand.

"The Jedi chose the light and the Sith chose the dark... the force kept them in balance, never letting one prevail over the other for long. As long as there is powerful light, there will be powerful darkness." She continued to explain, and idea forming in the back of her mind which she kept to herself.

Poe smiled and stepped back from her to sit in the co-pilot's chair. "So when you sense something through the force, you feel how it is unbalanced and how to return the balance?" He asked and Rey shrugged,

"Yeah, it's kind of like that." She sighed, glancing at the control panels beneath her hands.

"Thanks" He said glancing over at her with a smile. "For explaining."

"I live to serve" She laughed, turning back to the controls and taking the falcon off auto pilot. She needed to think and she thought best while her hands were kept busy. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Poe leave the cockpit and was glad to have some time alone.

 _Powerful light and powerful dark,_ she turned the phrase over in her mind again and again. What if the only way to rid the galaxy of powerful dark was to also dim the light a bit? What if they needed to find a middle ground, and like the force, not choose sides?

* * *

Author's Note: Oh wow, I'm so sorry for the long time in between updates guys! I hope this chapter was enjoyable even after such a long break. Let me know what you think so far!


	9. Action

Chapter 9

When the Falcon finally touched down on the small meteor that served as an outpost for Mandalorians and Concordians Rey's nerves began to set in. The plan was fairly simple but it made her stomach lurch to think of putting her friends in danger. The voice in the back of her head reminded her of her connection with Ben and how she might be putting the entire resistance in danger by not severing the bond.

Rey grit her teeth against the thought and shoved herself out of the pilot's chair. If everything went well at the outpost, they would be on Concordia by the next standard cycle and she had told herself she would tell her friends about the bond when they reached the moon. She steeled herself and hoisted her pack over her shoulder.

"Ready?" Finn said as she left the cockpit and joined the others. Rey nodded briskly and they made their way off the ship. She had landed the Falcon just outside of what appeared to be a small gathering of tents, the ship was partially protected by an outcropping of rocks which seemed to be the only adequate cover for miles. She hoped it would suffice to keep them under the radar of the locals and stormtroopers.

Poe came up behind Rey and Finn and put his arms around their shoulders.

"Alright, get in and get the parts as quickly as you can, don't talk to anyone unnecessary and don't go looking for trouble." He commanded as the three of them stood at the end of the boarding ramp. Rey felt a slight wavering of the force around her, and attributed it to the nerves she and her friends felt.

"And no heroics!" Rose added as she came up beside Finn and slipped her hand into his; Rey smirked at him and they both nodded before pulling on their helmets. Rey had fashioned a pair of old pilots helmets into something resembling the one she had left behind on Jakku, except this pair were fitted with com-links so she and Finn would be able to speak freely without revealing their faces. Rey had even added a voice modulator, reminding herself unwittingly of Ben as she did so.

Before anyone could say anything else Rey took off at a run, grabbing Finn's elbow and dragging him along beside her towards the tents in the distance.

"Like old times." He laughed, and she saw a flash of his memory cross her mind. The two of them running for their lives through the outpost on Jakku. She smiled inside her helmet and pulled him into a crouch behind a half wall covered in moss.

"Maybe we won't steal one of the most recognizable ships in the galaxy this time." She chucked, nodding her head towards the row of parked speeders outside of what looked like some dilapidated tavern.

"You think those have biomechanic locks?" Finn asked, glancing in the same direction.

"That tech is pretty fancy for such old models… The one on the end looks a little newer and well cared for, we'll stick with the two on the right, they're a little older but should do the job. " She explained, mulling over in her head that how she planned to hot wire two speeders quickly enough to not be caught.

"Alright, let's go, I've got your back" Finn assured her as they crept across the open stretch towards the speeders.

Rey immediately got to work, pulling the wiring compartment open beneath the steering mechanism and stripping the casing off the wires. Suddenly a sharp pain shook her whole body, the electrical current shocking her system as she accidently brushed on of the wires against their housing.

"Kriff!" she shouted, yanking her hands away from the compartment.

"Rey!" Finn scolded through gritted teeth, "You okay?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder at the tavern.

"Yeah just a shock." She muttered, diving back to the task at hand.

"Well keep it a _little_ more quiet if you can" He sighed with an eye roll.

With only three more shocks and significantly less cursing Rey managed to get the first speeder up and running, as she shifted over to the next one she felt Finn move behind her, blocking her from view. Just as she yanked the second compartment open a familiar sensation tingled in the back of her mind, "Not now…" she pleaded to herself under her breath. "Please…"

"I'm not thrilled about this either." Came a deep voice over her shoulder, that certainly did not belong to Finn.

' _I'm kind of in the middle of something'_ Rey shot across the bond, trying her hardest not to turn around and take in the sight of Ben. She didn't even want to think of how Finn would react If he knew Kylo Ren was standing meer feet away from him. She felt a wave of amusement roll off of him.

"What are you doing?" Ben asked, and Rey felt him step closer. "You know I felt those shocks too…" His voice trailed off and Rey imagined him rubbing his hands together where he had felt the shocks. She gave herself a little shake and refocused on the wires in her hands.

' _Go away'_ She mentally directed at him, before remembering she could knew how to block him out if she needed to.

"Uh, Rey?" Finn stammered, and she looked up to see his face full of worry. She panicked momentarily, wondering if he could see Ben who stood just beside him. She glanced between Ben and Finn for a second, reeling from the odd sight of them together; then her attention snapped back towards the tavern.

"They dont look happy." Finn grumbled, nodding towards the three men exiting the building and coming their way. "Please tell me you're almost done."

"Almost…" She whispered, ignoring Ben and turning back to her work. The damn wires just wouldn't spark.

"Rey…." Finn warned, his anxiety palpable.

"Rey." Ben started, "What's going o-" and his voice was cut off by a shout in the distance.

"HEY! What do you think your doing?" Rey looked up just in time to see one of the men take off in a run in their direction."

"Get on the other speeder!" She commanded gesturing towards Finn as she attempted to spark the wires one more time to no avail as he jumped on and revved the engine.

Rey gave up on the second speeder and jumped onto the first behind Finn, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Punch it!" She yelled, gripping on for dear life and Finn took off without a moment's hesitation. She lurched backwards as they sped off at top speed. She glanced back at Ben who disappeared in the distance, his voice echoing in her head.

' _Be careful…'_

 **Author's note:** Hi! Sorry for the long break in uploads! I hope anyone who is reading enjoys this chapter! I'll try to post again before the month is over! Let me know what you think!


	10. Caution

Chapter 10

Kylo stood paralysed after watching Rey disappear. The strangeness and briefness of the encounter leaving him confused. She had appeared to busy at work, and in a hurry. He knew she was rushing because he figured she would have been careful enough to not get zapped if she were taking her time. He rubbed the spots on his fingertips together where he had felt the errant electrical pulses. It had hurt at first but now he thought how enjoyable it had been to experience what she was feeling through the force. It reminded him that if she ever were truly injured or in danger, he would feel it and hopefully be able to do something about it.

 _Danger_ , Kylo thought, hoping that whatever she was doing wasn't too dangerous. He clenched his fists, annoyed at himself for letting her get under his skin enough to cause him such worry. He felt a familiar wave of self degrading anxiety wash over him. It was so easy to see her as his friend, especially when they confided in eachother like they had their last meeting. But if he was honest with himself he was still angry over her betrayal, though his concern for her safety always outweighed his rage.

"Supreme Leader" A voice hailed through his com, "Urgent intel coming from the Mandalore System" Kylo cursed under his breath and punched the door frame on his way out of his quarters.

Hux was standing with his hands clasped behind his back when Kylo entered the Bridge. There was a hologram behind him displaying a familiar ship, one of the most recognizable smuggler's ships in the galaxy. Kylo came to an abrupt halt, his eyes flicking over to Hux.

"What is this?" He asked gruffly, his fists clenched so tightly he could hear the leather of his gloves creak.

"I thought that was obvious, It's the Millenium Falcon." He explained walking towards the holo projector calmly, his face glowing with satisfaction. "You asked me to keep you apprised of any sightings."

"Yes I'm aware it's the Millennium Falcon." he retorted through gritted teeth. "Where was it spotted."

"This footage was obtained by a stationary satellite just outside the Mandalore system"

Kylo's hand flew out and clenched in the air, "Get to the point" He murmured menacingly, as he slowly constricted the airflow through the general's windpipe.

"The ship was spotted entering the orbit of Outpost Dx-55. I've already sent a transmission to the troopers stationed in the area to be on high alert." He croaked.

Kylo felt his face go white and his head swam with the new information. Turning his brain into a scrambled mess of worry and anger. He stalked towards the red haired man until he towered over him, "I thought I was to be the first informed of any news concerning the resistance's location." He snarled, the rage boiling up inside him.

"I… I thought" Hux sputtered, "Getting the messages to the troopers as quickly as possible would lead to a greater likelihood of capture."

Kylo saw red and shoved the man to the side, everything in his being was screaming to retract the order to the troopers but he knew Hux would become too suspicious if he did so and it would lead to questions of his allegiance. Hunched over a control panel he slowly reigned in his wrath and formulated his words carefully.

"If anyone is captured, I want them brought to me unharmed so they may face the justice they truly deserve." He stated finally, before turning on a dime and striding into the hallway. Once the doors of the lift slid closed behind him he slammed his fist into the wall, leaving the paneling bent and cracked.

Kylo thought to himself, he needed a damn plan. He needed to remain ruler if he wanted to bring order to the galaxy, he wanted to protect Rey knowing if he lost her he too would be lost. He couldn't see a way in which both were possible. He just didn't have any hope left in him. Why couldn't she have joined him? It would have solved everything.

He made his way to his private training rooms and made sure the doors were securely locked behind him, quickly he pulled his cloak off and knelt on the training mat. He needed to reach Rey and warn her.

"Rey, Please…" he begged, beseeching the force to do his bidding. It took a moment to clear his mind enough to be able to find the thread that connected him but when he did he grabbed it tightly and yanked and then she was there before him.

She looked over her shoulder, from her crouched position, her face still obscured by the bulky helmet. She must be alone, he thought because she speaks out loud this time.

"Again? I thought I told you I was busy?"

"I have to tell you something." He sighed, shaking his head.

"Make it quick." She spat, her head wobbling with the large helmet as she looked around nervously.

"Hux knows the Falcon is on Outpost Dx-55 and he's alerted every Stormtrooper in the area" Kylo said, tripping over his words slightly as he tried to get them out as quickly as possible. "Please tell me his intel is wrong."

He knew immediately the intel was correct by the way Rey's shoulders slumped and fear rolled off of her through the force.

"You have to get out of there Rey." He begged, forgetting himself and reaching out to grab her hand which she yanked away sharply.

"Why are you telling me this?" She asked softly, her voice tinged with distrust. Kylo racked his mind for a good reason, the only one he could come up with wasn't anything he wanted to admit to her at the moment. Suddenly he heard her name called and her head snapped around to look behind her.

"I have to go." She whispered, her hand brushed his as she stood and she sprinted off, winking out of view.

Kylo grimaced and held his hand where she had touched it up to his face, it felt warm but he was sure it was just his imagination. He shifted from his knees into a meditation position and closed his eyes. This type of meditation had been something Snoke had forbidden. Claiming the only true path to the dark side was through physical exertion and mental anguish, and meditation provided respite from the exertion. Kylo felt the corners of his mouth tilt up in a half smile, Snoke was gone, and he was free to do things his way now.

As he sunk into meditation for the first time in a decade the question of how to protect Rey while bringing order to the galaxy was what he searched his unconsciousness for. Over and over again he followed the trails of his natural thought, each one leading to the same end. It was as if he was creating a web, and at the center was always Rey and the balance he felt when she was near. It was the key, it had to be, and slowly through hours of meditation it dawned on him.

He wanted order in the galaxy, but maybe what the galaxy needed was not order, but balance.

 **Author's note:** Our protagonists seem to be coming to the same conclusion all by themselves! Hopefully they get some time to talk it over soon!


	11. Situation

Chapter 11

"I need three of each part." Rey explained, sliding the list scrawled on a scrap of parchment across the counter at the trading post. She was internally glad for the helmet which concealed her face and her voice, which shook slightly with nerves. She had never bought anything with her own credits before, and she found it very intimidating. She was sure the nerves which twisted her stomach also had something to do with the two stormtroopers standing to her left.

Ben had said they knew of her location, but if she kept her head down and her face concealed they would have no reason to interfere with her or Finn. She only hoped the troopers hadn't discovered the falcon.

Rey had explained to Finn quietly as they waited in line at the trading post that the troopers knew the falcon was spotted on the outpost. When he had asked how she knew this, she brushed it off by saying it was a 'force thing' which always served as a plausible excuse to Finn.

"Don't be greedy, these parts are valuable and rare, leave some for my other customers why don't you?" The dirty and lanky Muun pleaded with her.

"I need three." Rey replied sturdily, determined to get enough parts to not have to do this again if something went wrong. Surreptitiously she slid a bag of credits across the counter, "No one else will pay this much for them, and I'll take 25 ration packs as well."

The Muun's eyes widened as he guaged the amount of credits he had been handed, and he nodded briefly before ducking into the back of the tent to get the parts.

When Rey finally had the parts in her hands she felt a weight lift off her shoulders, she handed Finn half of the haul.

"Let's get out of here." She whispered, using her free hand to push Finn lightly towards their stolen speeder.

Rey fastened her pack onto the back of the bike and hopped on, glancing at Finn who was looking back at the trading post.

"Come on…" she urged, tugging on the back of his jacket. "Let's go!"

"Uh, Rey, that merchant is talking to the troopers." He said, stunned into inactivity. Rey looked up just in time to see the Muun point at them and the stormtroopers take off in a run towards them.

"Get on!" She yelled, urgently pulling him into the speeder behind her, once his body was pressed against her back and his arms secured around her waist she slammed on the gas and they took off in the direction of the falcon.

"We can't lead them back to Poe and Rose!" Finn said over their comlink, his voice urgent. Rey knew this and racked her brain for a solution.

"Do you trust me?" She asked Finn.

"Rey… Poe said to keep our heads down and Rose…"

"No heroics, I know!" She said, cutting him off. "This will work Finn, I promise. Do you trust me?" She asked again.

"Of course." He agreed, though Rey could sense his trepidation.

"Hold on" she warned before slamming on the break so hard that they both almost tumbled forward over the steering unit.

"What are you doing?" Finn griped, "they're gonna catch up to us!" They both looked over their shoulders and saw the troopers on their speeders, fast approaching. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, calling on the force to steady her. She felt the two men in trooper uniforms in the force and attuned herself to their signature. Rey opened her eyes as she heard their speeders approach.

"Hands where we can see them!" The first trooper barked as his feet hit the ground and he pointed his blaster at Rey. The second trooper joined him, blaster trained on Finn. They both did as they were told and Rey could feel the pure fear pulsing off her friend.

"We have word of some wanted fugitives being seen in these parts," the trooper started. "And our Muun friend back there told us he sold you some suspicious items." The trooper with his blaster pointed at Finn said.

"And what do we have here?" The first trooper asked as he yanked the satchel of lightsaber parts away from Rey who knelt in the sand. The trooper pulled the bag open and exclaimed, "Damn Muun wasn't lying, these sure do look like what you might need to build a lightsaber."

The other trooper looked over into the bag as well and Rey used the moment of distraction to stand and quickly remove her helmet. "There's nothing in the bag," she stated, forcing the truth of her words into the minds of the storm troopers.

The two men looked at her, puzzled for a moment before nodding.

"Looks like that damn Muun was lying," The first trooper muttered, "They don't have anything in here, let alone parts for a lightsaber."

"But that's the girl isn't it?" The other asked, nodding at Rey. "The Jedi Girl?" Both of them fixed her with a stare and as the first raised his blaster a little higher Rey's hand flew up and she directed her thoughts into their mind.

"I am not who you are looking for." She said aloud, "We are two local scrap traders just doing our business."

The two troopers nodded again, the first lowering his weapon.

"Just two traders, doing you business." He repeated and threw the bag at Rey's feet. She let out a nervous breath as the troopers holstered their blasters and turned away.

Hastily she pulled her helmet on and Jumped up behind Finn again.

"Let's get out of here." she murmured and as she wrapped her arms around him. She felt his heart racing. "Hey it's okay, they didn't even see your face!" She said, giving him a reassuring squeeze. He kicked the speeder into gear and set off towards the Falcon.

"Yeah I know." He sighed, "I just can't stand thinking those guys used to be my comrades, and they're all still just following their programing." He explained. "What if I never broke the programing? I'd still be back there with them." Rey could hear the dread in his voice even over the modulator.

"But you did, and you're a Resistance hero now!" She said, trying to lift his spirits. Rey felt him huff a small laugh under her hands, making her smile.

"Yeah, right…" he sighed satisfactorily. "That was pretty cool what you did back there, by the way!"

Rey shrugged, "It's more than just lifting rocks." She laughed.

"Well thanks for saving our asses yet again, you're the real Resistance hero." Finn chuckled and Rey felt her face redden under the helmet. What kind of hero kept secrets from their friends? What kind of hero had a direct line of communication with the enemy? She shrugged again and stayed silent.

* * *

 **Author's note:** Hey sorry this took a little longer to update! I started another fic and have been a little too focused on that. If you're into AUs check it out, it's called Prisoner of the woods. And as for this fic, I promise we're getting to the Reylo and I apologize for the slowest burn.


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